I wrote this several years ago, but never published t. I tink it may be more relevant now than ever. (I have updated it a bit to make it even more relevant)This may be a bit outside what I usually write, but I am entitled to my opinion. (hint: reread this sentence after reading this article)

A common negotiating tactic is to offer way higher/lower than you really want, so when your adversary makes a counter offer, you can meet in the middle and it is closer to what you actually wanted in the. first place. This tactic implies your adversary will employ the same strategy for their own benefit, and that negotiating has a winner and a loser.This is not an optimal strategy. One, or both parties may feel “ripped off” (just using the term “adversary” is a hint at the win/lose fallacy if this strategy)

Another “negotiating” tactic that is becoming too common is demanding concessions without consequences. There are many examples, and some are very political. I will use the example of car modifications (since I like cars so much) I believe you are free to do whatever you want to your car, however some mods will have usability, legal, or other consequences. Lowering a car for aesthetics or handling reasons makes it worse over bumps, Increasing engine power gives worse reliability. Etc. Unfortunately, some people seem to want what they want, but don’t want to pay the price required. They want to install a high lift kit in their pickup without consideration of visibility or pedestrian safety. In negotiations, this is the stance that you must do non-negotiable X, Y, or Z before we will even talk, How can you even try to negotiate without even trying to see the other point of view?¹

So what do these negotiating tactics have to do with anything? I have been seeing a real shift in perception, a dumbing down of society. Some people seem to think that they are “entitled” to a certain position or thought or belief. Free speech in our western society guarantees you can say and believe what you want, but what these people forget is that there are limits and caveats to what can be said and what can be acted on. You are free to say or think what you want, as long as it does not infringe on the rights of others.

In other words, we, as a society, need to relearn respect and compassion. The current hatred all through the news and social media only serves to beget more hatred. I do not agree with quite a few viewpoints being pushed and used to divide people. Whatever happened to “We the People…”

1. of course there may be some things that are “off the table” but you should be are to say why they are off the table, ↩︎